Poverty - Stricken

Eighty-three per cent of the poverty-stricken over the age of 65 are women. So, yes, the question is, “How and why do so many Canadian women end up like this?”

I asked myself “How can I help other women either recover from or avoid the experience of the feeling penniless?” After many discussions with friends, and after much research, I have come up with an approach that I think will help women, and their family, better cope with the stress of money and emotions. However, it will be work.

In the course of developing Women’s Wealthness services, I have heard many stories from women who have experienced or fear experiencing the Dumpster Lifestyle. 

One of the reasons many women tend to have an uneasy relationship with money is that we confuse money with other things. That is, for many of us, money represents psychological and emotional wants.

Take a look at the list of emotional wants below and check the ones that resonate most with you – it may just be one, but possibly all:

• Happiness
• Security
• Freedom/Independence
• Love
• Power
• Success

Understanding that states-of-being are not money and that they need to be considered as completely separate things is the first step towards your achieving financial wellness. As women, we tend to think that we can only achieve or experience those states-of- being  if other things are in place; that is, I can’t be happy, feel secure, love, independent, power or freedom if I owe money, need money, are dependent on someone else and the house is not clean. By confusing money with states-of-being we have made money a pre-condition for enjoying life.

Start living that life now and stop waiting for money to make it happen. I am not suggesting that we stop paying the bills; they are part of being an adult in our society. Pay the bills as well as find the joy in each day. We can do these two things one small step as a time.

One way we can keep up with the bills is to not spend so much each day on the small things. This is called the “latté factor “, in the budgeting world.  I suggest that you stop using your debit card or credit card for the next 5 to7 days, use cash to buy the small things. This would be things like, coffee out, lunch out, breakfast out, the newspaper, gum and a drink with the girls. Don’t change your habits just keep track both daily and for that week. The reason I suggest using cash is it is easier to keep track. For example if you start the day with a $20 in your pocket and come home with $5 you know what you spent. Have fun and don’t judge yourself.

A form of exchange

Money is nothing more than a form of exchange. It’s not that money isn’t important, it is. However, it’s critical that we understand money for what it is. It is:  a method of exchange for goods and services. For example, I need bread, you sell bread; I give you money in exchange for the bread I need. I need a job, you are an employer; you give me money in exchange for my labour.

That is all money is: a means of exchange. Money is NOT happiness, security, love, independence, or any other state-of-being that money has mistakenly come to symbolize or represent for us. That’s not to say we can ignore money issues or that money isn’t important. Of course, money matters and of course we need to pay attention to it. However, we need to adjust our mindset about it. Accept it for what it is, a means of exchange. We need to learn how to manage our money in the same way we manage our household chores or any other of our responsibilities. Those responsibilities may not be fun, but they’re part of the determinants of adulthood. When we can separate our emotions from money, we can then be free to lead fulfilling and satisfying lives.

Happiness research shows that your level of income is not an indicator of happiness – people’s level of happiness has not changed significantly despite  increased standards of living.We live in one of the most consumer –oriented parts of the world. We spend 3-4 times more hours shopping than our Western European counter parts. In most parts of the world shopping is a chore. But in North America it is recreation.

With the increase in life expectancy many people are returning to work after retirement  for one of  two reasons, they are bored and do not think they can stay at home for 20 years. The other, but much more disturbing, is they have not got the money need to live. After 30-35 years in the work force and thinking of the golden years that dream is gone because of an inability to save, overspending or poor planning. Women are spending about 98% of what they earn and saving about 3%. Well below the 10% savings recommended for men and no where near the 12% for women.

Money is a form of exchange that we are required to use responsibly as we require our children to be responsible with their belongings. The problem is old habits and beliefs get in the way.  

A place to start

I have come to this point through life experience and observation.  After about 19 year of marriage I was suddenly single. As a result of the marriage breakdown I needed to find a place to live, a job; as the assets were tied up in joint accounts. No cash flow... That is me low cash flow. During these years I have gone from one bad job to the next; always being underemployed. During this time my income has not improve in relation to my skills or education. I met many women in the same place as me so, I decided I could impact women by becoming a financial planner only to discover this situation was a common thread even with the women that appear to have money. For these women cash flow was not the issue, but rather the over spending. This over spending is a common phenomenon across the nation. The average Canadian owes $1.16 for ever dollar they earn.

Through reading and self education I have learned that most spending is based in emotion and until we see what triggers our spending we will continue to over spend. (Advertisers have this one figured out.) I want to help women see how they are responsible for their own financial future,take control and make changes that will keep them out of the dumpster in retirement.

 Money can be a both a blessing a curse for many of us. We need to understand what it can do for us and take advantage of that. There is lots of evidence that depression, anxiety, stomach problems, and riskier behaviour are related to higher levels of materialism. We continue to consume because we have come to believe that a dream of love, comfort, and safety for ourselves and our children can be attained item by item.

When money begins to look like money, (not love, not security and not a dream) we can live with out feeling deprived.